SO happy :-)

I just had the nicest day ever! I went to Aalborg today after a very long time.
Chilled with some friends and got back around 10 pm. I was sooo tired.
But it was a nice day still with shopping n having fun!!! A lotta fun!!!
I really miss Aalborg...man I can't believe that I'm sayin dis.
Wish I had more time to chill there but it was okay. I had so many people to see today but I didn't
have time for all of them so I ended up with seeing 3 friends. Ended up with celebrating a friend's 25th birthday. I wasn't home for her birthday so I decided to get her a good cook book with 1080 recipes. I hope she can use it.
I need to get White Teeth by Zadie Smith, and Arjun Appadurai's Modern Globalization. These two books have I wished to get for a long time. I should order them soon time so I can read more about Appadurai. His theories work wonder when I write about India and especially diaspora. Very exciting material that I would like you to read aswell if you ever get time. The flows and his way of
building theories really makes sense and very easy to read too.

Finally had a chance to speak to A on the phone today after so long. I really missed your voice, lusu. I'm so excited this weekend..Mhmm will be in London n my cousin will be comin dis weekend to the UK. So we are going to chill big time. Everything is just wonderful right now and no one...absolutely no one can bring me down.

I feel so tired. Will get back to you later. Going to a forest tomorrow n take pics from this beautiful place. Will post the pics later...Niteyy night

Lovely days

Time flies so fast so I decided to stay for another week here although my work place really needs me back. We will see. I want to stay here tho cos I probably won't be home for christmas. Y'day as my mom wished we went to a studio and got our family portrait taken! It was fun n new although my dad hatesss taking pics lol. Still I believe the pictures turned out good I think. I would love to choose the ones we should have but I won't be home when the pictures arrive, unfortunately! I hope my sis will choose some of the good ones. This is the saree that I was talking about earlier. It looks better in real and pretty heavy too! My sis took this picture of me after the shooting. I wanna try one in London! This reminds me of me last week walking in this mall nearby, and there were some people from a modelling agency scouting models. I was one of the chosen ones 'they claim' lol. I didn't have much to do anyway so I went for it and they took a picture of me. If the judges like me they'll choose me for the castings. Let's see how it goes lol. On my parent's day I badly wanted to take a picture with me n this butterfly here..but butterfly flew away :-( LOLLL n i only had a chance of taking one of dis... Ashok told me tht he would like to take me to this butterfly garden..omg I can't wait. I really wanted to go to one when I was in Toronto but never had a chance to do so cos winter just started n I forgot about it...but it often crosses my mind that I should go there next time I visit Canada...but A told me that there is one in the UK too..i was like wow lol. Now I can't wait till comin' back....YAY! :-) I was just baking a cake...tomorrow we will have loads of guests over. Can't wait to meet my friends that I haven't seen for so long. We only get to meet once in a blue moon now that I'm in the Uk :-) It will feel good to have'em over n crack jokes. My dad has his moments when the shootings r ready LOL. I feel a bit exhausted now. Been a long day. Gooodnighty...MISS YOU A!!

FUNNY...how the 'friend' I wrote about earlier
has managed to write to my sweetheart, A from a different FB id...thinking
she can split us up :-( By explaining what a 'bad' girl I have been. First of all
do you really think anyone would believe you when you write about me, through fb?
Who do you think you are? Jealousy is a bad thing. How sad and pathetic of you to think
that you can make him doubt me while i'm home and far away from him...but you are wrong HUN.
We love each other so much that you just fired it up! He's my man...my love...my heart.
Stay away, and mind your own business. Life is too precious to waste time on splitting couples.
It won't happen...Just because you have a sad life...try not to ruin others cos karma comes back
around hun... :-)

I love you Ashok...and I'm going to see you soon my love :-) I'm thinking of you every second...and I know you do too. MWAH <3 nothin' or no one can do us apart cos our love n understanding is so strong....!! Love you sooo much!

Finally Home...

I have been dieing to come to my blog for the last 2 weeks. Didn't have a chance

to come until now. It is funny to see how my haters like to enter my blog and read my stuff :-)

Your lives must be boring since you'd like to look at my posts and start new stories but a little do I care now.... Just thought I'd write this :o) I got a third eye if you didn't know.

I was so ill yday and i had to go to Upton Park to get my sister a shalwa...n these stupid people at the shop told me they had to send it off to the tailor first and I gave them 45 mins and they ended up stealing 1,5 hour! I was so scared that I'd b late for my flight home but thank God I made it!! I was rushin all the way...n i was sufferin so much frm pain. Lately I have been having so much pain but perhaps it is because I caught a cold. I feel so much better now...and it felt great to be on my own bed again...after 4-5 months! Just made me miss home so much. Tomorrow is goin to b busy. My parents have their 25th anniversary so I promised them that we'd go to a studio and finally get a family portrait as they wished for so long! My dad went to Sri Lanka earlier this year and he got me this beautiful green saree with flower stones. I am so in love with it. I think I might wear it when we are getting our pics taken. Can't wear till wearing it. I will try it later on today. I feel a bit cold in my room but the sun rays are begging me to go outside and let the light play with my mood... I guess I am giving up :-) I need to go out later on when my sis comes home. We will take a little trip into the forest nearby. It really feels great to be home...its so relaxing. I really missed it. I'm probably goin away next week again but until then I have so many plans.

And I truly miss u ashok... Thanks for yday I had so much fun...and our crazy stupid games when watching inception :-P Haha... and the other game lollll... I miss you already :( but I will see u nxt week... and Im lookin forward till the 25th ...your first bday with me. I can't wait.

Hugs xx

You are not worth it

Thought I had a wonderful evening yesterday. Perhaps you shouldn’t be too happy about someone then you might end up getting more hurt than you already are.

A friend of mine..o well I thought she was my friend until last night when she showed her true face. You really do get to know someone to the bone when you stay with them under one roof! This friend of mine acted as if we are cool and I met up with her few times during her stay in London. I helped her by advising where to search for jobs and other useful stuff. While talking to another friend of mine she was deliberately trying to break my friendship to the other friend of mine. Well my friend must have a very sad life for doing whatever she tried to. She might think she is doing the right thing but poor girl is stepping on her own toes. Sooner or later (I hope) she will realize what she did was wrong. I am so done with drama. I am matured now and those who create problems knowing that these problems will grow into something bigger have no life. I am not like that and I know who to keep on to in life. I don’t need you people who are up to drama and trouble. I am so over that age and phase. Please come up with something else that we can discuss about. However I’m happy that this happened. This makes me realize how happy I am to have my best friends. Love you guys so much!!!

Thinking...

Back in the days she knew what she wanted and if she got something which she likes or dislikes she would keep on to it. It's so surprising to see how things changed. How she would shift from one thing to another quickly. Time really changes you. One does not always realize this but when you do it is weird to think about how one used to be. She closes her eyes and tries to rewind back to the moment when she was 13. Hot summer day, sitting on a bench waiting for her best friend to come out so they can listen to music on the walkman while taking a long walk without really saying anything. She misses that a lot. To spend time with someone and basically do nothing and still not get bored. Several thoughts would pass in and out of the mind while taking each step. How will the future be like? Would her relationship to her parents change? What is going to be her dream?

She thinks back on those days when she had to fill out the applications for high school. Still being indecisive but she knew that was her path, so somehow she worked hard to achieve that and lastly the day she finished her undergraduate degree. She misses those days when she was busy, had no time to think because the free time that she has makes her think deeply like the days when she took walks with her friend, thinking about everything.

Time passed by so quickly and now she's waiting at the door step but no one is willing to open it for her. She has to open it on her own risc but the question is... Is she really ready to open it? She takes three steps back while she is physically by the door but her soul is away. She doesn't know how to ask it to come back....as it promised her that it will only return when she finds her strength. She is not yet too sure if she has found the strength that she needs. After millions of minutes and shivering seconds she thinks she is ready but she is not too sure if she has found her strenght yet...She needs her strenght to corporate with her to keep her nerves down and to find the energy to a peaceful mind so she can open the door and be ready for whatever the world has to offer her. She feels that the strength is not sure of her either...whether they can work together. She is sitting in the dark wondering what she should do. She was the type who would take decisions right away and think about consequences later. But now for the first time she is thinking if she really should try to open the door or wait for her strength. She changed... but the new her is not sure if she changed too much.............................................................................................

...

IruddiNeleA NeE NadaKaiyileA uN niLalum uNNai viTTu VilaGividuM
nEe maTTum tHaan InthA uLagathile UnaKKu ThuNai enRu VilanGividum...
TheeYodu pogUm varaYil thEerathU InthA thAnimaY....

.....MISS YA!

YAAAIKES lol.

Just few minutes ago my laptop stopped charging and I was about to get a heart attack! I tried to take it easy and I started to think about how to get a new charger or even a new laptop...then I checked the wire and it was lose GEESH...that's so typically me! So now that it is working I started to appreciate it even more.

I'm so happy that I'm going home next month to see my family. I haven't seen them since may 4th. I so need to see them and hang out with them. Need to drive my daddy's car ...that's what I call home driving along the coast with a sea breeze caressin ur face! Soo longin for that and to see my friends too....Sigh!

Today was okay...just shopping and it was bareeeeeee hot outside...!! Will get back to you with more when time allows... miss u A!

Truly in love

**SIGH**

Lovely day............................................

..........

Surrounding happiness pressures one into the invisible bubble of magic. The vibrant colours makes you blind. Eyes can only enjoy the sweet indulgence of love...and never know what happens when one bursts the bubble ......................................................................................................................................................................
.........................................................................
.......................................................................................................................................................................
.........................................................................
.......................................................................................................................................................................
........................................................................
Not feeling too happy. Who says the happiness is there to stay once it arrives. Disappointments and heartache is what is left when one tries to be too sensible....................................................................
Wouldn't just be easier not to be too sensible and stop thinking of what others will think and make
your other half happy....................................................................................................................................?

One I love

Today is special. I can't believe we have been going out for 6 months now. Moreover it's a week day so I didn't expect him to pop in as he would be tired from working but he managed to come to see me and give me a frame with our picture and a very sweet text. I didn't know what to say or do. It was just so nice. I'm so happy. I love simple gifts, something which will make me think back in the future... of how things were...simply sweet memories. I'm going to put it on my shelf so I can wake up every morning and look at it, and remind myself of how lucky I am and that every day should be filled with love and happiness. I love him so much and i'm so happy to have him in my life. We may be very different but the bond we have cannot be broken....that's how strong it is. With him by my side, days would be complete and I would not miss anything in life. Thanks and a smile is all I can offer you. I'm not used to being treated like this...it feels so new and yet nice. It hits me very deep in the heart when I see him and when thinking of how he thought of me today and to treat me so nicely. There is no one like you...Luv you always n forever...


Yours, P

Bored

I'm working on a lousy grey saturday!

Not much to do around here so I thought I'd come here and drop few lines.
I do come and check my blog every day but I don't always get time to write
since i'm workin full time. The weather was better few days ago. I was totally fried
but look at it now. So grey and no colours. Everyone is probably at home, it feels
so empty on the street. It's okay I'm pretty much used to it, but it is weird
not having that many people around you.

I'm off tomorrow so I can just chillax like I want to. Workin on monday even though it is
a bank holiday. Should be okay if you get paid the double :-P hehehhe. Man I sound so soru-ish now. Lol.

Time flies so fast, I can't believe we are in the end of May now. Hopefully the summer will come and stay for just a while. The winter was too tough!

I haven't made any specific plans this weekend. Just thought about relaxin'. If I was home now I'd be relaxin big time watchin a movie with family and joke around. Miss having them around me. For the first time I really feel home sick. I often sit and think of how things would be if I'm home. I never felt like that before, I love travelling and stay a couple of months or stay for a short period in some countries but this is the first time I'm really on my own not having any relatives near me. Should be okay I guess, I have my friends.
I should be off in a bit. Gotta take the overground home n hopefully it won't rain!

I MISSSS HOOOOOOOOOOOOME!!!

underneath it all...

Do you know the feeling of getting something in your hands for a short period and within few months it feels as if your life is gone when you are without it? I haven’t written much on my blog lately. Haven’t really been busy but I think I was lost in my day dreams. Sweet memories swept me away during day time and I had things to do. We went to Greenwich Park recently. It was really nice. I really like the parks here. Reminding me of the ones back home, only better. Thanks so much for making me happy. Love you so much.

I put some of the pics he took of me and the sunset at Greenwich Park. It was like a dream standing there seeing him doing what he loves. Cracking jokes and being so happy the last few weeks. I’m really going to miss that. I used to be thinking a lot, not that I stopped, but really feel happy. So happy that I feel so excited every time I talk about him to my buddies. I can’t believe time has run so fast. It’s my birthday tomorrow. Feels like few months ago when I was alone with my sisters while my parents were away. I really can’t wait till getting home, sleep in my bed and watch TV with my family, weird as it sounds. I have so much to do in those few days, so much to accomplish. I will be so busy but great feeling to be back and laugh again.

Krishna meeting Radha

I found this on the net...thought you might want to read if you share an interest in these romantic stories :-)

Lord Krishna Meets Radha

When Krishna was a little boy of four or five, his father, Nanda, took him
to the field where the cattle were grazing. Krishna wanted to spring a surprise
on his father, so he created a severe thunderstorm. It began to rain heavily
and the trees were tossing wildly.


Although Krishna was responsible for the storm, he pretended that he knew
nothing. He started crying and screaming, and he clung to his father for
protection.

Nanda was trying desperately to protect his child and also the cattle. He
found that he could not manage to do the two things simultaneously, and so
he was in a terrible predicament. He had to save his dearest child and again,
he had to save the cattle. Nanda could see no way to bring both the cattle
and the child home safely.

All of a sudden, a most beautiful woman appeared. Nanda was very relieved
to see this unknown woman who had come at such a crucial moment. “Would you
kindly take care of my child?” he asked. “I must take the cattle home now.
Then I will come back. I am sure that you will be able to protect my son.”

“Do not worry. I will definitely take good care of your child,” the woman
assured Nanda. Nanda departed for home with the frightened cattle. When Krishna
and the woman were alone together, Krishna did something extraordinary. He
created a most enchanting scene and took the form of a youth. This youth
was dark-skinned; he wore an orange cloth and on his forehead there was a
peacock feather. In his hands, he held a flute which he was playing so hauntingly.
Krishna looked at the woman and asked her, “Do you remember this incident,
when we were in Heaven?”

The unknown woman was Radha, who was Krishna’s dearest beloved.

Radha replied, “I do remember this incident. It is very vivid to me.” Krishna
was showing Radha a scene from their life together in Heaven before they
took incarnation on earth. He wanted to remind Radha of their eternal oneness.

The time was fast approaching for Krishna’s father to come and take his son
home. Krishna stopped the performance in Heaven and became a little child
again. He started crying pitifully for his father to come and claim him.
After some time, Nanda had still not appeared and Radha became very worried.
She was wondering what to do when she heard a voice telling her to take the
child to Nanda’s house.

Radha was so sad and miserable that she had to return Krishna to his parents
after being reunited with him on earth. She was afraid that she would not
be able to see him anymore. But the voice told her, “Take the child back
to Nanda and Yashoda. If you listen to me, I assure you that you will be
able to go and see your Lord Krishna every evening. You will meet him and
he will play his flute for you. A part of your heart will always remain with
him.”

At that moment, there appeared Brahma, the Creator. For 60,000 years he had
been praying to the Highest only to have a glimpse of Radha. In his meditation,
he had seen Krishna and Radha together on earth and he was deeply moved.
So he came personally to see Radha, who was the embodiment of the Universal
Force.

Radha obeyed the inner message that she had received from the voice and took
the child back to Nanda’s house. After that, she used to come and visit Krishna
every evening.



That is one version of how Lord Krishna and Radha met for the first time.
There is another version of the story. In this second version, it is believed
that Radha’s father was a very rich king. When Radha was still a little girl,
he decided it was time for her to get married. He made all the necessary
arrangements for her to marry a neighbouring prince.

But Radha did not want to get married; she wanted only to be with Krishna.
So she took her soul out of her body and kept only a portion of herself,
a shadow of her real existence, inside her body. The prince for whom she
was intended married the shadow.

Radha transported her soul to Nanda’s family because she knew that Lord Krishna
was being brought up there. She took birth in Nanda’s family, and she and
Krishna became brother and sister, closer than the closest

Happy Tamil New Year!

My laptop crashed so couldn't come on the 14th, but happy new year thou :)

back!

A deep breath is taken. Looking around for a long time does not help me understand what I am exactly looking for. Feeling so tired, but not sleepy. It is almost 11ish, and I’m off to bed soon. I woke up early and had a good run after a long time. Yes you read it… I started to work out in the mornings. I never been a morning person, but after waking up early the last few days I actually feel a lot better about myself and my every day. I feel more energetic and happier. It’s a great feeling just to get out and enjoy the spring in London. It is also a bit weird shifting from one place to another. From snowy Dk to summer-ish London. I haven’t been doing much today. March 14^th was so lovely. Something nice happened, something that I didn’t even expect…I discovered one thing about myself. I don’t know how to explain it but it feels nice! I love everything...

Marriage and True Happiness

Yesterday I drove off to meet a friend whom I haven’t seen for a very long time. While driving, this mysterious light from heaven was spraying glitter in my eyes. I haven’t seen the light for a very long time! We had snow and nothing but snow the last couple of weeks. It was a great feeling. I guess it is true what I have read about those surveys about people will get happier if they go out in the day light at least once a day to greet the sun. I’ve read that people in the exotic countries are less depressed than those living in the cold countries because they see the strong sunlight all the time. I must admit I haven’t been out that much because first and foremost it is so cold and I get ill easily, and second of all it’s sooo depressing to go out.

While driving I turned the radio on. They were having a discussion about this survey which was made in the States. For fun they were saying the following. If you are planning on getting married, then listen to the info about this survey which has been made in the States. Recent studies are showing that the happiness in marriage don’t last for long. Once love blossoms, one wants to get married, and when time passes the happiness decreases in the relationship. Then the couple may think, everything will get better if they have a baby. After giving birth to a child, the woman’s happiness increases, while the man is less happy. All this mean downfall for both. One can’t rely on this, because the roles are different in Europe, Asia and the States. I remember watching a talk show from the States about black women not getting married because the black men prefer to be with white women as they are more relaxed. According to these black men, the black women have anger problems. I was so surprised the way they could generalise. Love and marriage shouldn't be because of colour. These men should know how black women are, we are all individuals but at the same time they should know where they come from. Perhaps there are reasons why they are like this.

Moreover marriage means so much for Americans. I think it has become a status that people don’t even think about the concept of marriage. After wearing that beautiful dress, and partying everything goes bad oh well I can’t assure that but I can imagine especially when you are totally focused on getting married, and you forget why you are even getting married. Perhaps everyone is just in love with the thought of getting married. Sometimes one just forgets why one is getting married. What does marriage really mean to us? Why is it that some people think they can be committed to someone they love, and after marriage they regret everything and a fear arise in them. This fear may prevent them from thinking clear and every little issue may become a big issue and they get alienated from their loved-ones. Is this what love does to one? So many people are divorcing as well. I’m just wondering what will happen in the future? Will people still get married, or can they just be committed without getting married. I wonder why some people get married while some just stay committed. Why does one need to get married? Is it a fear of losing one’s love? Or is it because one cannot trust one’s partner? We are all individualists and it is hard to be committed with someone forever, but if one knows how to shape oneself in order to make things work, I believe marriage can work out. If just everyone can see it as a spiritual journey together...

A very interesting topic on the radio …it made my thoughts lose…

Chinese Love Poem

I went to the British Museum earlier this year, and I saw this beautiful collection with chinese love poems. I really wanted the collection, however I didn't buy it because I was a little bit indecisive. When going back with A, I tried looking for the book as I really really wanted it, but sadly I couldn't. I hope I can find a similar collection soon time. The words were so beautifully linked with an amazing message. After writing this post, I finally found the book I was looking for. I can be purchased online on this link:
http://www.britishmuseumshoponline.org/invt/cmc24131 I'm defo going to get it!

I tried looking for a couple poems online, and found this. I hope you like it. I think the author is Yan Shu.

Butterflies Love Flowers

Outside the railings chrysanthemums are sad,
And orchids are shedding tears of dew.
The silk curtains hang light and cool,
A pair of swallows flying off.
The bright moon knows not the sorrow
Of departure and solitude,
It's slanting rays piercing the vermilion portals
Till dawn breaks.

Last night the west wind withered the emerald leaves.
Alone, I mounted the stairs
To look down the endless road.
I wanted to write but had not elegant notepaper.
And the rivers are wide, and the mountains so high,
I do not know where to locate you.

Counting down...

I caaan't wait...couting my days... in about 11 days I'll be in London and in the arms of my love...
Really missed dem friends aswell as A.

i'll get back to ya.

Why is that?

Something is not feeling right. I really don't know how to explain it. It is just something that I can sense right now. This wrong thing which may turn in to something so right. I wish I could just figure out how things may turn into right now. All that I have left is sense, and I get really worried about everything right away. It's like losing oneself in less than a second, without being able to reach anything to get back on track. Everything above you keep pushing you down to an extent that not even your mind is able to keep you up. It feels like a constant battle between one's thoughts and everything one's eyes see. These two have a hard time linking, and keep falling apart...creating heavy thoughts solely to weigh you more down. I Hope the next few days can make me think more clearly.


P.