Ssssnowwwww

Listening to my itunes radio, n the song ’Empire state of mind’ is playing by Jay z. Reminding me of the night of all nights… NYE! The best night I tell you. First time celebratin’ NYE with a special person.
I’m back in Denmark and it’s so freggin’ cold here. I thought I was freezing in London, but after comin’ here…ufff! Snow is beautiful n so peaceful to watch, but a hell to walk in. But gotta get used to it. When being in London I thought time would pass quickly and that I would be back in London as soon as possible. Comin’ back to everything made me realize how much I missed them. Even though it’s so good to be back, and to meet all my friends again, I’m missing somethin’ too badly. My friends in London. Those I used to call up every day to crack up, and have fun with. I’ll never forget those days, I wanna re-live them again when I go back!! I miss my special someone too :-( This is way too hard, and I’m going to stay here for a month more. Wow. I really don’t know how I am going to manage all this. It’s really not the same without him. I really hope I can go back soon. It’s hard to keep focus too. I came to reach some goals here and it’s soooo hard. I guess once you complete them everythin’ will seem so much lighter. That’s what I’m waitin’ for, but things won’t easy for long. New challenges will show up for sure.

Today been much fun with sis. We planned on makin’ our first snowman. We never really had a chance to do it before as I was never home when it snowed. I’d be at campus busy with assignments. This time was fun, unexpectedly we had our own lil snow fight haha.

......................

Last night I went to a Tamil Uni Show in London. It was very amusing. My friend took this picture of me while I was playing around with my saree.

I can’t believe it. I only have one week left before I have to get back to Denmark. I’ll come back but I still can’t believe the fact that I have to get back and stay there for one month or so and come back. That would be totally weird. I look forward. I really miss home. I gotta spend some more time with my family, and moreover I need to make some important decisions in my life the next couple of weeks. So many difficult challenges in life. I really don’t know how people overcome them. I wish that I could just swirl around the upcoming challenge, without getting in to the eye of the storm with no tension and stress. I’ll be able to getting my strength and energy back while I’m at home. I have a goal also. I finally lost 10 kg. This is 1/3 of what I want to lose. I’m so happy. I want to look good this summer. I can already see results but it requires a lot of hard work, but I am willing to spend more time on myself now until I start my Masters. I’m turning 24 soon. Everything is going way too fast for me. Someone please tell me how to slow down time! I’m not feeling too well today. It’s just going to be a quiet Sunday. Just going to chill and find a way to pack everything together. I gotta go to my friend’s place next Sunday, and leave on Tuesday. I think I’m going to the market nearby!

Beautiful song

I have been looking for this song for soooo long. I just remember seeing it once and I fell in love with it. I only remembered the part when he bends and sings I LOVE U LOVE U SOLLA THAANE. Today I asked this special friend about his favo song...and he sent me this. ARH I'm so happy. I hope u like it too!! ENJOY :)

Feeling great!!

My heart slowly raises a beat. My ears are hearing the sweetest melody. The sweet flute makes my entire body relax. Closing my eyes I hear the next song. Reminding me of the summer time when I was cruzin along the highway to meet up with my friends. My hometown may seem a bit boring for young people who are used to city life, but there is something relaxing about that town. While driving I always get in a good mood when watching the sea. Rolling my windows down, to feel the bright breeze. There is nothing better than that. Siragugal song is what played in our cars all summer. Whenever I hear that song I think of the days when my friends came to my town, they’d pick me up as I do not live far from the highway, and together we’ll drive to our beach. We would sit and talk. Sometimes splashing in the water and have a good laugh. I kind of miss that now. I wanted to live in the city myself as I have been growing up in that town for ages, and I needed to get out of it. But now that I’m out…far far away from home I miss it terribly. I know if I go back all memories will come back and I don’t want that. I finally have to sort my thoughts so I can finally gather the puzzle and be myself again. Right now I’m not doing much, and hopefully I’ll be working next week or so. The next couple of weekends I’ll be booked, so kinda looking forward to that to get myself busy again. I really need to. I have been so moody lately, but I finally got rid of the negative thoughts. It really is a process one has to go through. Finally I feel healed and I can’t be happier than this. Being unhappy for a long time gave me deep wounds. I thought I would never come out of that evil circle but some wonderful people changed me into myself again. All you need is a little bit of love to get back on tracks. I’m happy to be here. But I believe it’s the second step towards my future. I’m finally ready for anything. All I need is a little bit of luck :-)
I think I’m going outside in a bit.
Adios…

Hey There

Hey...

I'm not working right now so I came by to write few words.
Lately it has been very cold n rainy outside. Not that I don't mind the rain, it's beautiful as long as it does not ruin my hair haha. I made few friends at work, but a shame I didn't get a chance to get their numbers as the project ended and I had to stop. My friend who was here for a couple of days left too. It was nice having her around, and I felt less lonely. I miss my family a lot, but I feel happy here too. I met some great people who changed my life. There were moment when I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do with life. I have to remember why I'm here and it is to work and find myself again. When I were home I was just down and had too many thoughts, but I have released all those thought since I came here. It is as if I feel I'm ready to settle and move on with my life. Tired of holding back old memories. Coming here I learnt I had to let go of it all. It takes time, but meeting new people will change the way you think.

When my friend was here we went to Westfield. It is so huge and too nice looking. I haven't been to a mall like that back home. It is kool to try something different. I already miss those days. We had so much fun and laughed our heads off all the time.

I'm back on WW again, and I lost 7. I'll keep you updated.

Until then...

ADIOS

On our way

My friend, Reena visited me for a couple of days. N she took this pic of me on our first day outside. She's leaving tonight. Will miss her :-(

Im here!

Ah
I finally get time to write again. Since I left Denmark I did not have time to write on my blog as I had so many other things to do. I must say I had a bit of bad luck losing my cellphone. I had taken some beautiful pictures of places in London. Beautiful Fall leafs, colorful places. I’m really sad but I’ll try to take some new pictures. I always have my digital camera on me, but since I came here, it has just been hidden in my bag. Now I’m gonna bring it with me where I go. I’m scared I may lose it but we will see. Perhaps I’m not good photographer but I love sharing what I see, and play with colours to intensify them, and make them look dreamy. Just how my mind thoughts are.
On Saturday I will be moving to my own place so I’ll get more time to write on my blog. Thanks to all my visitors for leaving my comments. It warms my heart to read them and appreciate my writing. That is simply encouraging. As I will be moving to my own room, I will have more time in my hands, so I will definitely visit your blogs as well and leave you comments. I have been terribly sick, and I was almost fed up with things so I can just go back to Denmark and stay at my parents’ cozy home.

I’ll get back to you soon!!

test

27.10.2009

I wanna tattoo these digits in my mind.

I don't know why, but I didn't do much. It's not really a memorable day like that, but it means something to me. I haven't been writing much since I haven't been at home. I had so many heavy stones trying to weigh me down to hell, but today I let the thoughts circulate a bit more than normally, and finally tried to let go of everything. Someone very close to me been asking me why I'm always sad, using sad quotes, sad writing. I thought about it too, it's not something I'm doing purposely but the sad feelings makes my fingertips active, and make me write more. It's just something that I feel I must say. I feel free, I finally took a step forward, even though I can fall down any time. Sometimes when I lay in the darkness, I swirl around in my own world, in a world where I am happy. At times I feel happy, and then I break down again. I really didn't used to be like this, but mean people brought me down. I realized I shouldn't waste my time thinking about people who is not willing to spend a sec on me. Instead be there for the ones who love me. I still freeze when I think of how people can be so mean towards each other and to an extend - that they don't even care about the person they once cared for. I believe, when you got something nice in your hand that you care about, you would never want to lose it, unless you don't know its value. It's breaking me in 1000 pieces. I had a precious scarf. I used to sleep, having that soft scarf caress my cheeks. It was so precious, a precious gift from a special person. But after knowing that it lost it value I threw it up in my shelf in my garage. It's there somewhere, in the dirt and cold. Sometimes I feel like grabbing it and have it by my side always, but every now and then I just feel like stepping on it. Just like how it lost its colour, and how it stepped on me, and scratched my skin and let all my tears flow out. O dear scarf... don't come to me again, because I'd love to have u beside me, but you lost your value.

Yours.
P

Evil storm

Lost

This picture is taken in my hometown. It at this huge forest which is only 10 mins walk from our house, and you have walk up dem hills to get to the top of the forest where you can have this special view over the town and harbour!! I love this place. I mostly go there in the summer time to relax.

Fun :-)

These clips were taking in july I think, when our lil neighbour kid visited us. Excuse our loosu jokes hahahahaha n my sister's singing :P HAHAA... I was jus viewing them, and thought I should insert them here :-)

Painting Emotions 2

Meeting myself - part 1

I tried walking fast. But my legs could not keep up with my flickering mind. I almost tripled over a stone. The mud tried to pull me down, deep down to a world of cold energy. I tried to pull my feet up and prayed that all the good spirits would uplift my soul. Even though my body was fully glued to this damn earth, my thoughts needed to be free. I moved towards the pavement. I have been very fidgety lately, my mind needed rest.

I had left my room around 5ish because I could not handle the silence any longer. I thought laying down in my soft bed would help my mind ease, but I was only sagging deeper and deeper into chaotic thoughts and flashbacks that I did not want to replay in my head. I got off the bed immediately, and threw everything around. I do not know what happened to me. Perhaps it was stress? Perhaps sad feelings digging deep into my vains? While thinking of what I had done earlier today I saw a flashlight from the distance. I stood still. What was it? Few seconds later I realized it was just a car. I only went out today because the noise can bring back harmony in my mind, to bring back the silence that I needed so badly. I had to find out what he had given me the day he left me. All these days I did not realize what had been nagging me.

I met him a couple of years ago. He always hung around with his friends, and whenever I passed him he would be ignoring me. I did not really take that into account. Few years later, when I was doing my regular warm up in the morning, I saw him running. He ran the same path as me. His movements were amazing, fast yet harmonic. His face would tell how hard he worked to get in to shape, and those deep-set eyes sent warm greetings to my dark brown eyes. My eyes wanted to watch but my mind took over and forced me to look down. I was shy. I would see him once in a blue moon, but once I my eyes were hooked on him; they would clash with my shyness. Everyone say they do not care about looks when it comes to choosing a partner. I believe it is a fair lie, in the end you get attracted to what your eyes like. Deep down I knew looks was not enough.

Although I wanted to be in his strong muscular arms I knew it would not happen. A guy like him would never talk to me. I noticed all the other girls who were out running. Beautifully shaped, they knew how to catch attention.

That morning I moved slowly, with my arms hanging down. I did not look strong at all. Thoughts wandered back and forth and I ended up sitting on a bench, watching over this beautiful lake. While watching the beautiful swans I wanted to swim along with these beautiful birds. I felt like the ugly duckling, perhaps I was just in the wrong place. I always go to this lake when I want to relax, and especially during Fall, this lake would so stunningly beautiful. There would not be so many people in that area, and I would lay down and crunch the leafs. I knew I was alone in this world, and I would enjoy the beauty of the nature all alone. I knew how to appreciate things especially after having learnt my lessons.

The past relationships were not something I’d yell hurray about. None of them were serious, and I ended up moving on as easy as it could be. I always thought that something was wrong with me but in reality I just met the wrong people. If you had a childhood like me, having everything in your life, lovely parents and sweet siblings and you have been raised in a little town for years you may think everyone must come from the very same world and that they know how to treat their next. You’d only be thinking of everything that you have been taught during your whole life about giving value to each and everyone and treat them nicely. I walked further along the peer to get a closer look at the swans.

A lady once told me that I should go there by evening time, and look deep down in to the water to catch a glimpse of my future husband. I tried looking deep into the water; I could not see anything but dirt and mud. I put my hand down and touch the water lightly to create tiny waves. I noticed something blue, I looked further and further down, and someone put their hand on my shoulder and a voice said ‘ careful ‘ u may slip’ and I turn around immediately, shocked, and almost tripping down. I noticed some gym shoes, and outfit, and my eyes wandered further up and to my great surprise IT WAS HIM…

Ah goodmorning

I normally do not wake up really early. I am so not an A –person.Time is almost 4:58 am, and I woke up 4:17 am, and now I can’t close my eyes and sleep. Last week I had to work with my mom for a week and I woke up 4:20 am every morning, so it is funny that I wake up this early on a sunday morning. I remember once when I went to uni, and I would set my alarm to 6:45 am and I would wake up exactly 2 mins before my alarm would ring which is kind of weird haha. If I have something important the following day, I swear I won’t be able to sleep the whole night. I am so used to being up late, especially during those days when I had to write semester projects. I kind of miss those days now. I’m not doing anything but worrying about my future these days. I have planned what I would like to study, and when everything should start, but I am strongly worrying about other stuff as in marriage. O yeah, bet on it…the proposals already started coming and it scares the sh out of me. I know my parents won’t find me a lame person but still it is scary because we are talking about MY future…arhhhhh :-O And I trust no one, so I’d rather just put my own life in my own hands, and live my life, taking care of myself. Who cares about having a partner anyway lol. I know I’m being selfish, everyone would be telling me how I would be hurting my rents if I don’t do things their way. Geeesh, I really don’t want to go through all this. When you are young you wish to pursue your dream career, and settle down. But now that I have reached this level, I don’t want to settle down. I’m not ready for all this. When do you know when you are ready? I’m only 23! Some of my friends are already engaged or married and some even have babies now. It is a huge responsibility and I really want to be ready for everything. I used to rush in to things, just really go with the flow without even thinking about which consequences I would get. After learning from my past mistakes, I am very careful choosing the people I want to talk to

My Day

Ellooow bloggie!!
Happy Diwali first of all to all my sweet visitors!
I haven’t done anything special today. I visited a friend whom I haven’t seen for a very long time. We used to hang out a lot back in the days. We had some really funny days – wish I could replay time just to hear those funny jokes again. We met in a really weird way. It is fun to think about it now. I was a type who used to be very quiet, but everyone liked me in class. When we were in grade 5, my friend started in our class. You guys know how mean kids can be. Anyway no one liked her, and all my friends told me that she is weird and that I should not go near her. I just listened to my friends, but I never made fun of her or talked behind her back, because I was not like that. We went on a little field trip and she talked a lot with the girl I mostly spend my time with. The following day I was sick so I did not go to school, and everyone were like asking her what she had done to me since I did not go to school. Lol, it is kind of funny though. She just called me and told me that everyone had questioned her. After this little incident I realized what a nice girl she is and ever since we became best friends. We did fun stuff together, but not hurting in anyway… We just cracked so many jokes and we could laugh for hours about nothing. After grade 9 she moved to another city, and I was going to attend a high school. And we had to separate. I did not see her for years nor did I hear from her. Four years later when I started at Aalborg Uni, I met her again. She lived in the same city and only 10 mins away from my apartment HAHA funny to think how destiny let us meet again. Ever since I been hanging out with her, and now that I moved back home I don’t see her much. It’s back to phone calls and MSN convos. Anyway – I went to her place, driving for an hour or so. Uffh…I normally hate driving but I loved it today. While driving I saw the sunset , the sea, while Billie Jean was on the radio. I just sang along, and without even knowing it, I was there. Her dad took us to another big city and we went shopping. I totally love MAC. And you cannot buy MAC everywhere. I normally buy it when I go to London, in the duty free department at the airports. Cheaper and a good way to kill the waiting time. Oh well I always need more time. I can stand in a make-up store and look at anything. I went on this long trip and only bought a mascara ( lash injection). I wanted the lip injection as well since it has some nice colours, but my lips are already huge, and I’d look so funny with swollen lips haha. Since it is Saturday today, the shops were closing early and we did not have time to stay there for long at each store. I used to be quick when I want something, I can just spot the nice dresses, and I’ll be grabbing them. Now-a-days I think twice, and I need to take a third look at something before I buy it. But if I just buy it without thinking much about it I won’t regret once I’m home. Just like today I looked at some really long boots, they looked so nice, but I didn’t like the material. I was scared that I may ruin them when walking in dirt, so I ended up not buying them. Now I’m home wishing I had bought them. When you are in such rush you won’t be able to think clearly – ohh well for me it’s not haha. I totally needed to get out. I’ve been diving in my cosy room for too long, and not wanting to get out of the little shell as I have been down. I know it is diwali and I should come out and be happy and spread my joy. Usually I am a very happy person, and what makes me smile is when my dearest friends tell me that I make them happy. Even though I am not happy I want to make the ones around me happy. Once I start laughing, it is hard to stop me!! HAHA…and some of dem friends tell me that I laugh like the laughing babies on youtube!! HAHA… ( If you search on ‘ top 3 laughing babies’) on youtube..you’ll find the video. I don’t know why but it is such a habit of mine to fall back while laughing hard, and I don’t make a sound when doing it hahahaa… yeah I know I’m a weird creature!

I just got back, and now I just ate briyaani. I’m gonna take rest right now, I was up all night, because I could not sleep!

Have a nice evening :-)

:...1st deadly sin...:

Envy

True words

Yethanai koodi kanneer mann mithu vizhruthirukkum

athanai kanda pinum pommi ingu poo pookum

irutinilay nee nadakayillai un nizrallum unnai vittu villagividum..

nee mattum thaan intha ullagathilay unakku thunnai yendru villaingividum


unnakkum illai inthu yennakkum illai paadaiththaavaanai ingu yedduthu kollvan..

nallavar yaar ada kettavar yaar kadaisiyiL avanay mudivu seyivaan.. !!


Sometimes when I feel down, I feel like listening to this song...it makes me realize that I should be happy, and if I have to cry, I just cry... in the end, it is for the better...where one door closes, another opens. I'm ready for more oppertunities, and live my life to the very end. I hate life sometimes, but once u get hold on the positive thoughts, those negative thoughts will go away, and this special song makes me love everything...Closing my eyes...letting go of all sad feelings helps... and the fresh wind will bring me to a world of happiness...yet the scars will always be there.

beautifully broken

You’re everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could’ve been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that?

You’re the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I’d love to not forgive
And though you break my heart, you’re the only one
And though there are times when I hate you
Cause I can’t erase
The times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you
It pains me to say
I know I’ll be there at the end of the day


You say you’ve got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you’re not deserving me
And still you’re in my heart
But you’re the only one ....

Touching song

Simply beautiful!!

HappineSs

Eppo nee remix

A fantastic remix... LOVE IT...!!

That's what I am made off

Darkness lead me in to a world of dispair,
ripping off every positive thought,
making me sit naked,
only with cold thoughts and cursed wishes
Tried to look down, seeing I wasn't like everyone thought...

I am not losing me, I am not losing my mind
I am me, I have always been me
The goodness from my heart
made pretty flowers grow on me

I won't fall... I will forever spread the sweetness

Varuvaaya?

•:♥:• Mugam partu pesum unnai, mudhal kaadhal sindhum kannai..anaikamal poaveno aaruyire?

From the bottom of my heart

*Vizhiodu nane...uravaahinene...Muthal parvai maravene kanne...unaale naan kandene...uyiraale naan anaithaane*

With Love In Your Heart

::............If you begin the day with love in your heart, peace in your nerves, and
truth in your mind, you not only benefit by their presence but also bring
them to others, to your family and friends, and to all those whose destiny
draws across your path that day..........::

Thank you...

My hands felt slippery... i slightly let the ball roll over. It hit my book, and rolled right back to me. I've been trying to throw my heart away, since I got hurt too many times. It broke many times, but since I had a needle I tried stitching it back. It kind of helped for a while, until the owner tried stealing it back from me. Well not really the owner... perhaps I may have given it away once, but I got it back fully broken...then the owner has no right to take it back? The stitches opened, and my heart popped out again in pieces. Looking out of the window I feel the cold breeze, pulling me towards my warm sheet. I tried to warm myself, but my mind froze. Just out of nowhere tears fell on the palm of my hand. I tried grabbing every tear. I couldn't control them... I thought the stitchings would help my heart heal...but cruel words flowed out of the owner's mouth... leading me to a feeling of loneliness. I felt like nothing. Excuse my sensitivity. Closing my eyes, I suddenly felt I had something in my hand...it was the ball. It got well polished, as my tears had painted my sorrow on the ball, leaving my heart fully again. I think it's safe now... but who will help me ease my mind?

i'll be there

Raining hearts

Glowing hearts
Beautiful night
Slightly bruised
Beautifully broken...standing watching
your eyes in my eyes. I don't want other hearts :-(

time is moving fast

To follow the beautiful path of life I wanted to bring another soul with me... lightly i grabbed your hands, you followed me...telling me that this was what you wanted too... to spend every second with me and share our dreams together... Only now i'm stranded somewhere, slowly getting lost in the dark...because the colourful leaves won't embrace me for long...praying.

Sunny side

Wow... This music is sooo relaxing... it's just what you need to put your stress and sadness away ...for just a little while...just close your eyes and relax....


After listening to this... i guess everything will be okay...just okay

True Love

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seeks its own way, is not provoked, does not take into account a suffered wrong, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails! - 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

Killing me softly

I absolutely love this song...Wonderful voice!! I used to listen a lot to this song...damn its good!!

Oru Pommayin Thedal

A beautiful poem written by my friend... I thought I'd share...

I don't mind to hyponotize you hahaa..

Running through the cold stones won't make me cold,
running after the dove makes me happy...with my one and only balloon i feel secure when wandering through my thoughts. The pursuit of life.....

Vennila Meham

Dear moon...

I've been waiting eagerly to see you

I hope you will shine upon my dreams

I'd bend for you

Take me away to a peaceful world

I cannot handle the darkness...

You're a song
Written by the hands of god
Don't get me wrong cause
This might sound to you a bit odd
But you own the place
Where all my thoughts go hiding
And right under your clothes
Is where I find them

Underneath your clothes
There's an endless story
There's the man I chose
There's my territory
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey

Because of you
I forgot the smart ways to lie
Because of you
I'm running out of reasons to cry
When the friends are gone
When the party's over
We will still belong to each other




shakira: underneath your clothes

...

mayil iRagae mayil iRagae varudugiRaai mella

The same circle

Some things in life just makes me so happy, been running in the very same circle for a long time, and finally i've been able to reach out of the circle to feel life again. I am hugging life, happy that the sun is shining on me. I have so many dreams in me, I want to realize them...they will be realized very soon...but I learnt that being impatient will lead me no where. Steps have to be taken one at the time. A change is gonna come very soon. I've been down, I almost felt the bottom, but somehow I got up again. As I close my life, I feel it running through my veins, trying to push itself outwards. My skin gets warmer, as the joy reaches my heart, and makes my face smile. It feels nice to finally be alive again...

...anbe nee yengi irukkiraai vazhithaal anbe nee angi irukiraaai, uyire nee yennna seikiraai uyirin ulle vanthu selkiraai...

Moving up

The touch of fresh air leading me towards something unattainable,
yet pulling my thoughts against my skin,
the soft feather, caressing my face, blends its beauty
into a world full of sadness...